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Thursday, April 27th, 2006
5:55 pm - laughing Mr. Smith


To get DA FULL EFFECT, you gotta turn the sound up and let that shit loop at least like ten or eleven times.

current mood: good
Comments: what the fuck?.
Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
3:44 pm - Poor Katie

Katie Holmes has been banned from speaking to her baby for a week after it is born, it has been reported.

The pregnant actress has agreed not to talk to her new arrival, believed to be a girl, for at least seven days after she has entered the world, in accordance with fiance Tom Cruise's Scientology beliefs.

Katie, who is due to give birth any day, has already promised Tom she will deliver the child in complete silence, and she will also have very little contact afterwards.

A source told Britain's Closer magazine: "Katie respects Tom's dedication to Scientology. She is devoted to him and wants to bring up the child the Scientology way."

L. Ron Hubbard - the founder of the strange sci-fi cult - writes in the religion's creed, that all followers must live by, that new born babies must not hear their mother speak for a week so they will not associate their voice with the trauma of birth.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

current mood: restless
Comments: 6 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Friday, March 10th, 2006
2:50 pm - I could never understand this

So ya know how some stupid redneck'll stub his toe or jam his hand or walk into a low tree branch or get shot in the face by Dick Cheney or something and invariably the first thing he'll do is yell out "JESUS FUCKING H. CHRIST!!!!!" to no one in particular?

What the fuck does the "H." stand for?

current mood: stressed
Comments: what the fuck?.
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
12:42 pm
mrshannibal http://www.ktvu.com/news/7846795/detail.html?treets=fran&tml=fran_12pm&ts=T&tmi=fran_12pm_1_02000803092006

Comments: what the fuck?.
Friday, February 24th, 2006
7:55 am - yummers in the tummers!!!
mrshannibal apparently some clown out there in pittsburgh went to the local quickie-mart/circle k/stop-'n'-go and wrapped a severed penis in a paper-towel and stuck it in the microwave...

the clerk found it...

and it wasn't me cuz i burned hotdogs in the microwave -
not weenies...

as far as you know - what's the weirdest thing someone's put in a microwave?

current mood: okay
Comments: what the fuck?.
Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
1:48 pm - sitting in the movie theater like

I just joined and wanted to introduce myself. Since I'm a movie geek I wanna know what movies you've seen that when the credits started rolling you were just sitting there like what the fuck. Here are some I seem to remember:

In a good way, I think:
Mulholland Drive
The X from Outer Space
Napoleon Dynamite
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover
Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend

In a bad way, definitely:
War of the Worlds
Star Wars Episode Two
Wild at Heart
Prospero's Books

current mood: dorky
Comments: what the fuck?.
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
3:30 pm - amusing in a WTF?!!! kinda way
mrshannibal CNN Alerts: Organized Crime
(in the subject box in my personal email)

Alert Name: Organized Crime

(the subject matter)
Gerald Ford released from hospital
Ex-president had been hospitalized for pneumonia
01/25/06 03:29 PM, EST
Former President Gerald Ford was released Wednesday from the hospital where he was treated for pneumonia, his spokeswoman Penny Circle said.

(wtf?!?!? since when was gerald ford a member of organized crime?)

current mood: ok
Comments: what the fuck?.
Friday, December 23rd, 2005
3:48 pm - inspired by godsstepson
mrshannibal what if you got killed by a butt?

current mood: weird
Comments: 10 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
3:50 pm - stupid criminals
mrshannibal Washington D.C. - A convict broke out of jail in Washington
D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to
her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich.
She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police
officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned
to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

Ionia, Michigan - When two service station attendants
refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the
man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so
the robber called the police and was arrested.

Radnor, Pennsylvania - Police interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with
wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was
placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button
each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect

Toronto, Canada - A gas station attendant had no trouble
identifying a robber for police, even though the man had
worn a pair of women's panties over his head as a disguise.
The thief, who later admitted that his mind was clouded by
intoxicants, had stuck his face through one of the leg-holes
so he could see.

Modesto, CA - Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used
a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately,
he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

Virginia Beach - A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty
surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money
exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently
stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was
running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping
around," said police spokesman Mike Carey, "with an
explosion taking place inside his pants."

Los Angeles, California - Police in Los Angeles had good
luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control him-
self during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the
lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll
shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

current mood: not bad
Comments: what the fuck?.
Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
4:47 pm
mrshannibal http://www.sheilasmith.net/funnies/jokes/ghettore.doc

current mood: not bad
Comments: what the fuck?.
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
3:36 am - Insult?

Insult?!Collapse )
Comments: 2 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Monday, July 18th, 2005

WARNING: It's a very obscene image and that's why it's behind the cut! So make sure your little wee virgin eyes upon seeing this doesn't cause you to wipe a shitload of vomit off your computer!

When calling someone a cuntface just wasn't the same anymore...Collapse )
Comments: 8 annoyed - what the fuck?.
1:46 pm - stupid harry potter fan!

'I No Longer Have a Reason to Live,' Says Despondent Potter Fan
By: Andy Borowitz
Published: Jul 8, 2005 at 07:41

A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling opus, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."

Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, "I no longer have a reason to live."

Family and friends who gathered for a candlelight memorial outside Mr. Ralston's house remembered a man who seemed to live only for Harry Potter – and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate.

"When Jude got that vanity license plate that said ‘Hogwarts,' that seemed harmless enough," said Polly Clovis, who attended Model U.N. with Mr. Ralston while the two were in high school. "But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help."

According to friends of Mr. Ralston, the Potter fanatic had done everything in his power to protect himself from stumbling across Potter plot spoilers, even disconnecting his computer from the Internet and avoiding his favorite vintage comic book store.

Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston's death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place.

"In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one," she said.

Elsewhere, President Bush called the jailing of a New York Times reporter "a positive step," but warned that many other reporters were still at large.

current mood: bored
Comments: 3 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Monday, June 13th, 2005
5:21 pm - jacko

michael jackson has been found not guilty on all charges.

Comments: 2 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
4:07 am

Fuck airline prices sky-rocketing at the last goddamn minute so that you almost have to use most of your monthly rent to fly to another city within the US.$500 from Chicago to Seattle/Portland,WTF?? I could go to Europe for that much,you stupid assholes!!! Why don't you just bend me over and get it over with? And to top it all off,I'm only going to be there for 3 days,holy fucking Christ,this is unbelievable! Argghhhh.*chain-smoking/caffeine-inducing session to begin NOW*

current mood: frustrated
Comments: 1 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
1:35 pm

found written a wall in Ljubljana, Slovenia in summer 2003, around 4:00 in the morning.......

Comments: what the fuck?.
Saturday, December 11th, 2004
9:48 pm

Insert witty title here...Collapse )
Comments: 2 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
9:42 pm

Christian Panties? (what?)
Hot Christian Panties "Feel God all under!" (...oookay)

(these ones might cut christian but...)

I get it now... they are from the makers of the "Jesus is my homeboy" tees



(also comes in... Jesus style... show Him how he really means to you... today!)

some people... people really piss me off... you need to check this site out Miss Poppy Dixon
Comments: 11 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
11:26 am - my sister sent this to me
mrshannibal OK, it's up to you to figure this out.

Follow the directions. Go to the site shown below. This will boggle your mind...Take your time and follow the instructions. After reading each window, click on the boy in the lower right corner. You will be amazed....and no, I don't know how it's done.


current mood: awake
Comments: 6 annoyed - what the fuck?.
Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
7:47 pm
trufla Air guitar sells for $5.50

People are morons.
Comments: 3 annoyed - what the fuck?.
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